Culture Vultures Assemble: Bristol's Top Moments
Jess Connett rounds up Bristol's 2014 cultural highlights, including TV babies, two vandalised bits of graffiti and a Prime Minister in...
The Stupidestest Quotes of the Year
Created by Jess Connett
Some really, really dumb things happened in 2014. Jess Connett presents the most outrageous, ridiculous and downright stupid quotes of the year.
‘I wrote to David Cameron to warn him that disasters would accompany the same-sex marriage bill. It is his fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods…’
Source: www.anorak.co.uk
Ex-UKIP councillor David Silvester blamed gay marriage for the floods back in January, spawning an hilarious (but short-lived) Twitter parody account. UKIP fired him, but not before he opened the bad press floodga(y)tes.
‘Barraco Barner’
Source: The Telegraph
It was the Tweet that sparked a thousand crying/laughing emoticons – unfortunate Lancastrian Gemma Worrall got her world leaders a little bit confused. Next time perhaps she won’t be so keen to go Russian into political Twitter debates…
School trousers should not be too tight ‘around the calf and bottom areas’
Source: Giphy
Ah, fashion. It’s a fickle world which the uneducated should stay well out of, for their own safety. And Bridlington Headlands School, Yorkshire, proved that point when they got straight to the bottom of things by instructing students not to wear those freaky new inventions called ‘skinny jeans’.
‘I decided I can’t do this show, I can’t do the rest of this song until everybody stands up’
Source: Giphy
He might think he’s Yeezus, but he doesn’t actually have the power to heal the sick. At a concert in Sydney, Kanye West spent an awkward amount of time asking two fans in wheelchairs to stand up – before getting his bodyguard to verify that they were actually disabled and then carrying on with the gig. *Face palm*
‘Stephen Spielberg I’m disappointed in you. I’m never watching any of your movies again animal killer’
Source: www.izismile.com
Satirist Jay Branscombe posted a photo of Spielberg on the set of Jurassic Park, with a ‘dead’ triceratops. Which promptly caused the gullible of the internet to freak out and brandish him an ANIMAL KILLER (in full caps, which sure told him), and the meme generators to leap into action.
‘Williams brothers’
Source: www.timeinc.net
Russian tennis official and professional idiot Shamil Tarpischev called Venus and Serena Williams the ‘Williams brothers’ on a TV chat show this year. The Women’s Tennis Association served him a £15,500 fine and backhanded him out of tennis but he still refused to apologise.
‘He suffers from Affluenza’
Source: www.thechivefiles.wordpress.com
A psychologist successfully defended a 16-year-old drink driver who killed four people and seriously injured two others, by claiming his reckless behaviour was not his fault. It was due to the terrible, debilitating illness ‘affluenza’, known to the rest of us as ‘being a spoilt brat’. The judge managed to teach Ethan Couch absolutely zero life lessons by not sentencing him to any jail time. Justice in action.
‘I might be a big fan after tonight. I think Ebola will be absolutely amazing’
Source: Twitter via @MissAmyChilds
It just wouldn’t be a complete list of stupidity without wheeling out a TOWIE ‘celeb’. Amy Childs was interviewed at the MOBOs about the Ebola crisis, which she had never heard of. So she laughed it off and assumed it was a hot new band. I guess you could say, their music will be *puts on sunglasses* … infectious.
Did you spot any other howlers this year? Send ’em over to us on Facebook or Twitter!
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About the author
Jess Connett
Jess was part of Cohort 2 (big love), and stayed on at Rife Towers as Coordinator of the Rife Guide during its launch. Rife will always have a special place in her heart *sparkle emoji*
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