Five days of facing my fears
What are you scared of? Ella gets ready for the spooky scary season of Halloween by getting her adrenaline pumping.
Five Of The Worst Secret Santa Gifts To Get Someone
Barker set off around town this week to find the worst present ideas for Secret Santa, and by jove there were a fair few.
This week I was involved in my first ever Secret Santa and not gunna lie, I was pretty gassed. I spent quite a while searching for a gift and eventually had to go over my five pound price limit because everything I found for under a fiver was pretty rubbish. It got me thinking: what is THE WORST present you could possibly receive as a Secret Santa gift? So I had a little look around town and these are five of the absolute worst, most pointless, god-awful presents I could find.
1. Mini Shopping Trolley
I honestly have no idea why you would spend three pounds on one of these when you can get a full size one from any local supermarket for a quid and a swift jog home. This is one of those pointless presents you give to that guy at work who has 20,000 paperclips and rubber bands on his desk sprawled out like he just jacked up Staples and did a runner.
2. Beer Pong
If you’re seriously okay with spending £8 on twelve plastic cups and two ping pong balls as a funny present, you need to reevaluate yourself and your gift ideas. You can buy 12 balls and 50 plastic cups on Amazon for the same price. I cannot comprehend why you would buy this, and especially one that only includes two balls, anyone drunk enough to play this is definitely drunk enough to lose both of those balls within ten minutes.
3. Face Mats
Source: Red5 (http://www.red5.co.uk)
No, this isn’t the game version, this isn’t a odd twist on ‘Guess Who’, it’s seriously just mats you stick on under your nose. I spent a while trying to think up practical uses for these things and the only reason I can think of to buy this is one of the following: A) You’re completely terrible at fancy dress and have little-to-no imagination of any kind. Whatsoever. Or B) You’re actually so ugly that it’s painful to look at you and you think this may somewhat improve your relationship with friends and family.
4. Mints
Source: Toxicfox (http://www.toxicfox.co.uk)
The only message you’re sending when you give someone mints is that their breath smells. That’s it. It doesn’t matter what kind of fancy packaging or tin they come in, that’s the message you’re sending out. Most of the time if you’re paying five quid for a packet of mints in an R2D2 style tin you’re really just buying the tin aren’t you, they’re just throwing in the mints for free.
5. Really Weird Stuff
Source: Firebox (https://www.firebox.com)
I’ve been sat here for a good ten minutes tryna work out what to say about this gift. I cannot fathom who thought this would make a good book and not seem ridiculously bizarre, so if you’ve bought this for yourself thats really odd, but if you think ‘Oh (insert name here) would really love this book!’ Then you need to remove that person from your friendship group immediately because making stuff out of cat hair is seriously weird mate.
So please, don’t buy anyone any of these gifts for Secret Santa this Christmas, especially anything that involves making mittens out of cat hair *shudder*, or mats that I hang under my nose.
Instead check out Jess’s guide on some easy DIY presents you can make yourself.
You may also be interested in
The Best Fake-Deep Celebrity Quotes
You know when celebrities are feeling themselves a little too much and just spitballing and they can say anything because...
Seven Reasons Why We Shouldn't Be So Scared About Phonecalls
Molly Perryman asks why are so many of us are scared to make/receive a phonecall even though we're glued...
About the author
Barker
Barker is a musician and writer from Dursley, Gloucestershire, and one of the newest content creators for Rife Magazine. He has released music from a young age and his creative writing shone through to land him a job at Rife. His main interests include but are not exclusive to - music, politics, life for young people, fashion, food and the deepest of deep conversations about the world.
More from this author
Suicide In Young Men And How You Can Get Support
Men are under 45 are killing themselves more than anything is killing them.
There's A General Election In Six Weeks And You Need To Vote
Barker gives us a quick sum up about what Theresa May was talking about in her statement, and how you...
Trident: The Whose, Whats And How Much
Trident is our nuclear weapons system, and with the renewal of the programme coming up, Barker thought this would be...
